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A Night Chock-Full of WTF

December 27th, 2012

Action Bronson – Brooklyn Bowl – December 26, 2012

(Photo: Dan Rickershauser)

Some concerts leave you piecing them together afterward, asking yourself, “Did that really just happen?” And last night’s sold-out Action Bronson show at Brooklyn Bowl was definitely one of those shows. While dicey memories of the night before are often the result of something that starts with an A and ends in lcohol, in this instance it was a result of a night chock-full of WTF. So for certain legal purposes, let’s just say that we can neither confirm nor deny that the following happened last night, in chronological order:

  • Action Bronson came onstage wearing the giant fur of some animal over his head, sort of replicating his outfit on the cover of his latest release, Rare Chandeliers.
  • The show was temporarily stolen by Knicks guard J.R. Smith’s game-winning buzzer beater, which played on the televisions at the back of the venue.
  • After four songs, Action Bronson came out with a Costco-sized bag of weed, taking it out by the handful and throwing it into the audience, wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.
  • For those not close enough to be scrambling for the handouts, this gave them a moment to reflect on how Action Bronson looks a hell of a lot like a young Santa Claus.
  • After handing out the entire bag, Action Bronson asked, “Who’s ready for a Jamaican dance battle for an ounce of weed?” (He then rolled back on his promise: “You ain’t ready for that yet.”)
  • The night included many spontaneous presents, like T-shirts, vinyl and just about anything else the rapper could get his hands on. At one point Bronson asked, “Who wants a bottle of Dom Perignon?” and flipped a boxed bottle surprisingly far into the audience.
  • He stormed through the entire crowd during one song, asking for “an old school rap circle” that never fully formed. So Action Bronson walked over to the bowling alley to see if he could rap and bowl at the same time. But judging from the lack of fanfare, it didn’t go too well.
  • Rapper Styles P came out to spit a guest verse and do a killer rendition of Rick Ross’s “B.M.F.”
  • Action Bronson thanked Styles P, smoking what I counted to be his third blunt of the show.
  • The previously promised Jamaican dance battle finally took place. Action Bronson pulled up five or so fans to the packed stage. Things looked like a dead heat until a white girl in pink rocked what can only really be described as the Elaine Dance from Seinfeld. The rapper polled the crowd with this choice quote: “All right, stop. Who won the drugs?” (The white girl in pink did.)
  • Action Bronson declared he was getting tired, and finished off the show spitting the final verses of “The Symbol” while walking up the stairs from the stage.
  • No encore was needed or even asked for. —Dan Rickershauser